How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse: a blog with advice and tips on how to survive when the apocalypse comes.
The zombie survival guide is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now. Without preparation, you may be lost; this guide will provide you with all the information you need to survive.
Zombies are real – it’s not just in movies and video games. They could be outside your door right now, so it’s important that you know what to do when they come for you. The survival guide will tell you everything from what they are and how they act, to how best defend yourself against them.
How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse: a blog with advice and tips on how to survive when the apocalypse comes.
We’re all going to die. Sooner or later, everything living thing dies. That’s just a fact of life. But if you live your life right, you can extend your death by years, maybe even decades.
The average American lifespan is 78 years. If you follow the right diet, exercise regularly and don’t smoke cigarettes, there’s no reason you shouldn’t make it to 80 or 90 years old. But that’s only if you’re lucky. Even if you do everything right, there’s always a chance of something going wrong and ending your life prematurely. A car accident could kill you tomorrow, or a random disease could strike your body down in its prime.
But just because we’re all going to die someday doesn’t mean we can’t prepare for the inevitable! By following the tips on this blog, you can prolong your life and stay healthy for as long as possible before death finally takes you away forever.
Zombies have been showing up in movies and books for decades, and there has been a recent influx of zombie-themed material into pop culture. So you may be wondering, how do I survive if zombies start to overrun my town?
Follow the advice on this blog, and you should be able to stay alive through the initial onslaught of undead attackers! The first step is to create a zombie survival kit, which you can keep in your car or other mobile location.
Your kit should include: a first aid kit, some water purification tablets, a flashlight with extra batteries, some high-calorie energy bars, and a radio. These items will help you survive after the zombie apocalypse strikes while you are away from home.
Next, once you get home (or to a safe location), try to find some weapons that can kill zombies. If possible, get your hands on a gun with some bullets. You can also use melee weapons such as bats or knives.
Finally, gather up any friends or family who have survived the initial onslaught of zombies! Make sure they are still human by checking their pulse and making sure they are not missing any limbs. Then make sure everyone gets their own weapon from the arsenal you have gathered.
We know zombies are coming – it’s only a matter of time. And when the apocalypse does come, you’ll want to be prepared. With this five-step guide and some basic supplies, you’ll be able to ride out the zombie apocalypse in style and comfort.
Step 1: Find a base
Before anything else, you’ll need to find a secure place to hole up and wait things out. There are many options here. You can use your home, provided you’ve got a good way of securing it against zombies. You could also use a remote cabin in the woods or a boat on the water; anywhere that’s isolated and easy to fortify will do just fine.
Once you have your base, secure it against intruders by locking doors, boarding up windows and so on. Then stock up with plenty of food, water and medical supplies; you should prepare enough for at least two weeks.
We’re going to be honest with you. It’s not a good idea to go out on Halloween as a zombie. You’ll be confused with some poor schmuck who made the wrong choice earlier in the night and took some flakka or bath salts, which he/she undoubtedly will have washed down with some Thunderbird wine. That zombie will likely be handcuffed, covered in vomit and transported to the local hospital by an ambulance crew that is expecting its first ever drive-thru baby delivery.
The best thing you can do is stay inside and watch scary movies on TV while you hand out candy to adorable trick-or-treaters. If you insist on going out and want to take things to the next level, we suggest dressing up as someone who knows how to survive a zombie apocalypse. A zombie hunter, perhaps? Or a doctor at the Centers for Disease Control (CDC)?
To get started, here are a few suggestions:
Zombie hunters
Zombie hunters know their weapons and how to use them. They know their enemy is relentless and they have developed a strategy for defeating it.
Don’t: Under any circumstances should you carry real weapons in public while dressed as a zombie hunter. That’s just asking for trouble from law enforcement officers
You may have noticed that, on occasion, I wear a zombie costume. A few weeks ago I wore it to the airport when I flew out to San Francisco for a conference.
Wearing it to the airport is always fun. People smile and take pictures of me, and ask me where I bought it. When I tell them I made it myself, they look impressed. This is probably because they have seen my work before—I often see people wearing costumes that are clearly inspired by mine—and so know that I am unusually good at this sort of thing.
When people see me in my zombie costume at airports, they sometimes ask me why I’m going to a place like San Francisco in my zombie costume. They ask this question with a mixture of alarm and amusement—as if both delighted by the idea that someone might go to San Francisco in a zombie costume, and also worried about what kind of person would do such a thing.
The truth is that I don’t just wear my zombie costume to conferences in San Francisco. Whenever I travel anywhere, especially anywhere where it’s cold or wet or both, you can be sure that my suitcase will be packed with my zombie costume.
We are all going to die.
The only real question is how and when, both of which are, at least in theory under our control. But not always. If zombies attack, you could be eaten alive by a horde of the undead. That’s a pretty shitty way to go – I don’t care who you are. But wait! You’re not completely helpless! There’s plenty you can do to survive!
I’m not just talking about stocking up on weapons and food. I’m talking about arming yourself with knowledge. Knowledge is power, and it’s the first weapon we reach for when faced with an enemy – even one as powerful as the walking dead.
To get you started on your zombie survival journey, let’s take a look at some common zombie myths. No, I don’t mean myths like “zombies can’t swim”. These are more dangerous: myths that could get you killed if you believe them…